Perception makes all the difference!

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Today morning as I went to prepare my bed tea there was no tea leaf in the the container meant for this purpose. As I went to wake up my wife to ask where the tea leaves were, I found her enjoying peaceful sleep. I could not dare disturb her sleep and came back to the kitchen. I switched off the gas stove, searched for the tea leaves packet and filled the container with the tea leaves. As the brew changed the colour, I went back thirty years, the initials years of our marriage!

Would I have entered the kitchen so early then? No way, the MCP that I was, I would have woken up my wife rudely! Even if, assumed, had I entered the kitchen, the empty container would have made me furious and I would not even have noticed that my wife was sleeping! I would have simply shouted : ” What the hell you keep doing all day? Cannot even remember to keep the container full of tea-leaves?” And even after her having prepared the tea, I would have sipped it sulkily, cursing her for her absentmindedness as, in my perception then, it was her duty to keep all things ready! It is another matter that it would have wasted my morning also but who would have cared?

But years of living together and her silent suffering have brought a see change in my perception about our ‘roles’ and ‘duties’. I am more or less convinced that no one owes anything to the other….It has to be a mutual enterprise and this has eased things for me at least! over Thank God for this change in my perception!

SEPARATION

After a stealthy start,

It cascaded so fast;

Neither of us could realize,

If something was amiss;

Or else

We would’ve guarded

Against the imminent miseries,

But we couldn’t,

When it happened

Whatever it was,

We both enjoyed

Everything we shared;

We were so close

Yet so far!

 

In a bizarre way

We cherished

Even the distance,

After we parted

From each other;

(Or is it from us?)

 

I regret my inability

(or was it ours?)

To bridge the gap;

Emotional or physical:

I am not sure,

Are you?

Why I am here?

I have been here for quite sometime now. But despite my desire to write regularly, I have failed to do so. Many times I do not even log in for days, even weeks! I am not sure of the reasons but that is the stark naked truth. Not that I dont have ideas…nor is time the constraint! What keeps me tied up or tied down? I am unable to fathom.

Tried to quit but could not…some of the contributions are so brilliant and thought provoking that I always decide to hang on. In the hope that some day I might be able to write so well and so profusely! I believe I write well even now but the consistency is eluding me. See you sometime soon…hopefully!

Fear – don’t let it immobilize you!

Fear they say is a natural feeling which comes when your anxious about something or some situation. It is the proverbial egg or chicken first paradox. Does fear come because of anxiety or it is the other way round? I dare surmise that anxiety precedes fear. Sometimes it may be the other way round. The fact remains that it equips you to face the danger. The historical reaction to fear has always been flight or fight. Both help you to save yourself. So, in a way fear serves as a great motivator. I daresay that most of the human development is the result of this flight or fight syndrome of fear.

But we need to assure that fear does not immobilize us. Flight here is not to be taken as an act of cowardice. The first duty of life is to save life! So if flight helps us to remain alive, fly we must. The decision to fly involves accurate analysis of our strengths and weaknesses to face the situation. There is no point in fighting with the tiger without adequate tools. Of course if the flight option is foreclosed, there is no alternative! Self awareness, therefore, becomes of utmost importance. Let us be aware of our strengths and weaknesses and use fear as motivator and not let it immobilize us!