Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.
May 20, 1915: On this day, esteemed English novelist E.M. Forster got the chicken pox. Upon hearing the news, his friend D.H. Lawrence wrote, “I was wondering what happened to you.”
Stress is a mental state under which a person feels incompetent to deal with the situation he finds himself in. The situation may develop due to some of his own actions or it may be a fate-accomplice, that is, it is forced upon him. Stress develops because of his ‘perception’ of his inadequacy to deal with the situation. The important aspect or the key parameter is the ‘perception’ of the inadequacy/situation and not the realty or factual position!
It is said that stress by itself is not always bad or harmful – what is harmful is its long term persistence. In fact some stress is essential to keep the life moving. If there is no stress, the world would come to stand still. Stress within manageable limits actually acts as a motivator. It is called Eu-stress in psychological language.It can be compared to the string of the bow and arrow. If the string of the bow is not stretched and strained upto a given point, no arrow can be shot….and if it is stretched too far, or beyond a limit, it will snap.
That is why stress is considered a necessary evil.
But it is true …some people do suffer from this strange syndrome. As a couplet says : मुश्किल था इक तो यूँ ही इश्क की बाज़ी को जीतना कुछ जीतने के खौफ से हारे चले गए! (It was in any case difficult to win this game of love…on top of it i kept losing for fear of winning). The status-quo is so familiar to most of us, it is so comfortable, so soothing that we rarely want to to come out of it!
Success, on the other hand involves essential change…may be additional responsibilities too and possible dislocation or relocation! As we don’t want to come out of our comfort zones, we may feel the fear of success! As they say say “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t know”.
Sometimes it may be the childhood experiences that hold us back. Particularly the feed back of our parents/elders to the effect that we are good for nothing. Such comments are inscribed on our sub conscious (even conscious) mind like a script. Our mind fails to move out of the script like the villain of Hindi movies!
To beat this Fear of Success we need to review and re plan and rewrite the script which is time consuming and tedious job. But not impossible. So let us dare!
If you want success, you must act. Remember “the longest journey starts with small step”. Remember also how you began walking when your were just an infant! You began to sit and then crawl and then, one fine morning you wanted to standup! You couldn’t! The moment you tried to stand you fell down…sometimes the fall was painful….at others someone held you just in time! Disregarding the pain you again tried and lo and behold! You could stand on your own! You started taking small steps and then ran and see….you might have become the fastest runner!
Tell me was it possible had you remembered the pain you fell down first time and refused to stand up and take the first step! No…not at all! The same simple logic applies to your success in academics and career today…the first step is important even if the fear of falling down (failure) lurks at the back of your mind! And failures will be there….what you need to guard against is the “fear of failure”. Let it not immobilize you! Let it not prevent you from trying! Make the effort…plunge into action…. God willing SUCCESS will be yours! Dread not the failure only “fear of failure!” God bless!
«I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.»
— Michael Jordan
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