SOCIAL NORMS AND LEGAL PROVISIONS-AT CROSSROADS

Man is a social animal. Probably, the relations between the individual and the society are defined on the basis of this premise. But this assumption does not seem to have been put to test till date. However, frequently occurring cracks in the social relationships and intentional and sometimes seemingly willful violation of social norms tend to put a question mark on this basic premise of social existence. If man is indeed a social animal, why he has started enjoying breaking the social norms/relations? Why the society is persistently failing to keep the individual members committed to the social norms, laws and customs? Can it be explained away by dubbing it as ‘generation gap’ only? Is the individual for the society or vice versa? Is it justified to break the social norms just for individual gratification? Simple yes/ no answers may not satisfactorily answer these questions! Keeping in mind the ever-increasing demand for individual freedom, it has become imperative to evaluate and redefine some of these norms. But most stakeholders have opted to overlook the problem. Educated and so called enlightened people often turn to legal solutions for every problem. Of late, it has been felt that even the governments are keen to impose law only, overlooking the social aspects. But is it logical and justified? Mostly this approach has created additional problems

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Standing up and be counted!

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When human rights and human dignity is at stake, it is the duty of every right thinking person to oppose the perpetrators of injustice. When the powers that be are vindictive believe in suppressing dissent with brute power, it becomes necessary to stand up and be counted even at the risk to your limb and life! Some young people have  shown exemplary courage in this regard. But most secure and highly placed/affluent persons in India have miserably failed in standing by the truth and humanity. They have been too scared to risk their cozy habitats!
I am amazed at the capability of Bollywood celebrities to steer clear of all controversial, but still important, issues – particularly if the issue involves powerful people or can offend them. One such recent issue is the stand taken by a young student named Gurmehar Kaur against the state sponsored terror oriented censorship by ABVP. Recently, Divya Dutta, an actress and columnist (and now an author) visited Government College for Women in our city Ludhiana. As expected, she was asked to comment on the issue raging in the minds of all right thinking people. But she refused to comment saying “I don’t want to discuss politics here, neither do I want to comment on the issue. No comments at all”
Readers of her column in the Tribune would know that she regularly comments on the ‘achievements’ of every Bollywood celebrity, talks of love, compassion, courage and character! She always speaks from the high platform of virtuosity but when it comes to real life issues she asserts  NO COMMENTS! Strange! isn’t it? Indian celebrities only want to make “please all” comments!This was me on election morning. Wearing white, wearing a pantsuit, and full of hope.
Compare it with the attitude and behavior of Hollywood celebrities who came forward in hordes to condemn the racial and parochial approach of  President Trump to the American values. Latest to join the ‘fighters’ is JK Rowling, the Harry Potter sensation, who called the bluff of Trump on Women’s day. To Trump’s tweet about his ‘tremendous respect for women’, Rowling re-quoted his earlier comment on women “Just kiss, I don’t ever wait …grab them by the p****y …you can do anything”. Bravo Rowling!
It is shameful that Indian celebrities who survive on the goodwill and money of ordinary people, don’t want to come out in the open to call a spade a spade! Humanity and human rights/justice dont seem to them topics worthy enough to demand their time and reaction. How can justice to poor band have-nots be ensured?

Love at first sight

Can we really have love at first sight ?ramona-crisstea-1The phrase has always been there or almost always. Somehow, I am not convinced. What is love anyway? Is it sitting together, holding hands, kissing and embracing at public places, having sex and/or abandoning each other? I don’t think anyone (except the possessed lover) will agree to this definition of love.

What one gets at first sight is gaining attention and getting/seeking attraction. And that attraction has different degrees—a simple liking to passion, leading to desire for possession! And, possession for what?  As, at first sight, we do not know the person, love cannot simply take roots! What emerges is the desire to come closer, touch, embrace, kiss and do what follows such intimacy! It is simply a physical attraction pushed by carnal desires! This may be a part of the love syndrome but this, per-se,  is NOT LOVE!

Most people professing Love at first sight want the ‘object’ (read man/woman) of their love at any cost! Even if that person does not want to be loved! And these lovers can go any distance to take possession of that object- threaten, throw acid and kill, if need be! They cannot tolerate that ‘object’ to dissent. How can love dictate death?  I have often wondered! LOVE GIVES LIFE AND DOES NOT TAKE IT.

No. Love, as it has been known and understood since ages, in all cultures and societies, has always professed to GIVE and not take! Deliver and NOT possess! One in love is always willing to suffer rather than enjoy at the cost of the beloved. He/she willingly makes sacrifices for, and not kills the beloved.

The principles of modern management seem to have overtaken modern life in every field where success is measured in terms of achievements and possessions, where success is measured by the indices of profit and loss. So in love also success stories in media only report the possessive lovers…and not the ones who worship their beloved silently!

But, throughout history success of love has always been measured by the suffering and sacrifices made by the beloved…the pangs of love have always been the desire of the lovers. There cannot be any love at first sight. Love needs time to develop, mature and take roots. This can happen only when the lovers know each other. And final results of all “love at first sight” cases have mostly been tragic, which goes on to show that the society needs to discover itself afresh-at least in the matters of heart!

March towards Happiness

Happiness is one factor that motivates almost every one on this earth. But whatever you achieve, whatever you become, howsoever rich you may become, it is not worth it if you do not enjoy good healthy life. Conversely, to enjoy anything in life, that is, to be really happy you ought to have good health. So, first step to wards happiness is ‘good health’. This journey begins with good nutritious food. Avoid junk food always ab-initio! Second step towards good health is to have a regular walk and exercise…preferably in the morning before sunrise. But evening walk is reasonably good too. The point is to encourage the metabolism in the body to digest the food you have taken.

Today is the life of running around, of consumerism, of collecting mementos which may not be needed at all. You are continuously  bombarded with promos “buy now pay later”. You get numerous phone call to increase the limit of your credit cards as if it will also increase your income. And second step,  very important at that, towards happiness is to beware against these temptations. If you want to be happy in life always, learn to ‘cut your coat according to the cloth’ available. If you have an income of 100 units, spend only 99. The moment you start spending 101 against an earning of 100, you have laid the foundation for unhappy life! Learn to be contended in life.

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These two steps, namely, good health and careful spending will keep you healthy and wealthy because wisdom you have already demonstrated!