Everything in nature invites us constantly to be what we are.

Gretel Ehrlich

Happy birthday, Gretel Ehrlich! The American travel writer, novelist, essayist, and poet, was born on January 21, 1946, near Santa Barbara, California. She began writing full-time while living on a ranch in Wyoming in 1978 following the death of a loved one. Her 1985 debut, The Solace of Open Spaces, is a collection of essays on rural life in Wyoming.

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Love at first sight

Can we really have love at first sight ?ramona-crisstea-1The phrase has always been there or almost always. Somehow, I am not convinced. What is love anyway? Is it sitting together, holding hands, kissing and embracing at public places, having sex and/or abandoning each other? I don’t think anyone (except the possessed lover) will agree to this definition of love.

What one gets at first sight is gaining attention and getting/seeking attraction. And that attraction has different degrees—a simple liking to passion, leading to desire for possession! And, possession for what?  As, at first sight, we do not know the person, love cannot simply take roots! What emerges is the desire to come closer, touch, embrace, kiss and do what follows such intimacy! It is simply a physical attraction pushed by carnal desires! This may be a part of the love syndrome but this, per-se,  is NOT LOVE!

Most people professing Love at first sight want the ‘object’ (read man/woman) of their love at any cost! Even if that person does not want to be loved! And these lovers can go any distance to take possession of that object- threaten, throw acid and kill, if need be! They cannot tolerate that ‘object’ to dissent. How can love dictate death?  I have often wondered! LOVE GIVES LIFE AND DOES NOT TAKE IT.

No. Love, as it has been known and understood since ages, in all cultures and societies, has always professed to GIVE and not take! Deliver and NOT possess! One in love is always willing to suffer rather than enjoy at the cost of the beloved. He/she willingly makes sacrifices for, and not kills the beloved.

The principles of modern management seem to have overtaken modern life in every field where success is measured in terms of achievements and possessions, where success is measured by the indices of profit and loss. So in love also success stories in media only report the possessive lovers…and not the ones who worship their beloved silently!

But, throughout history success of love has always been measured by the suffering and sacrifices made by the beloved…the pangs of love have always been the desire of the lovers. There cannot be any love at first sight. Love needs time to develop, mature and take roots. This can happen only when the lovers know each other. And final results of all “love at first sight” cases have mostly been tragic, which goes on to show that the society needs to discover itself afresh-at least in the matters of heart!