Mama’s boy

He was always a ‘mama’s’ boy. I hope you know what I mean. I believe in Indian situation, every boy is a mama’s boy. The degree may differ. But he was a mama’s boy by choice. Like most Indian mothers his mother had sacrificed her lot of comfort for his happiness. Seeing her slog (not in the usual sense of the term) he had decided early in life that he would never let her down, come what may. Probably he had written the script for his life quite early!happiness vs unhappiness

As usual, the situation had to change after his marriage. But, although he supported his wife duly, whenever there was a conflict between the two ladies, he stood by his mother, even inviting the wrath of his wife. He did realize that sometimes his wife was more correct than his mother but he stood by his resolution steadfastly. He always thought his mother would not be alive forever…so he could make amends after she departs for her heavenly abode.

Obviously, life and death are not a wishful thinking. As luck would have their youthful time passed more quickly than it should have! When the old lady said final goodbye, they were in their fifties. Was it too late? He made another resolution ….not to let down his wife any more. But the young lady (no more so young) viewed everything suspiciously. Sometimes shocked, at others simply surprised! He would stand by her when she faced the children (now quite grown up), her parents and siblings, even his own relatives! Gradually she understood and started enjoying the new relationship! Jointly they would rue for the lost youthful time but they decided not to waste the time on the past.


Mother’s Role


We must admit that mother’s involvement with the child is totally different than the father’s. You cannot wish away the nine months of the child in the womb of the mother or the first year after birth when the child is closer to the mother than to anyone else. This develops a special bond between the mother and the child. This “umbilical chord” cannot really be snapped. So the mother does have the additional responsibility for inculcating ethical values in the child.image0042

My Mother

If a mother tells the son to respect women ,he can never indulge in eve teasing. This role has taken a backseat in the last three four decades. And the result is for all of us to see.


Fear of success

But it is true …some people do suffer from this strange syndrome. As a couplet says : मुश्किल था इक तो यूँ ही इश्क की बाज़ी को जीतना कुछ जीतने के खौफ से हारे चले गए! (It was in any case difficult to win this game of love…on top of it i kept losing for fear of winning). The status-quo is so familiar to most of us, it is so comfortable, so soothing that we rarely want to to come out of it!

Success, on the other hand involves essential change…may be additional responsibilities too and possible dislocation or relocation! As we don’t want to come out of our comfort zones, we may feel the fear of success! As they say say “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t know”.

Sometimes it may be the childhood experiences that hold us back. Particularly the feed back of our parents/elders to the effect that we are good for nothing. Such comments are inscribed on our sub conscious (even conscious) mind like a script. Our mind fails to move out of the script like the villain of Hindi movies!

To beat this Fear of Success we need to review and re plan and rewrite the script which is time consuming and tedious job. But not impossible. So let us dare!